Beloved..

No, this is not a picture of my Beloved. In my opinion she is far more beautiful than this. However, this picture does make me think of her as does most everything. Beloved and I recently decided to try being just friends and see where nature takes our relationship. It is the single most gut wrenching thing I've ever endured. I feel like my heart is in a vice.. It hurts to breathe.. But.. I want her to be happy. No matter what the cost to me. So.. We're trying it. I can only hope that her feelings for me return and she can come back to me soon. I think the only place I'm happy anymore is my dreams, where I can once again be with her the way we were before. So.... Dream Love: I lay in my bed, cold and alone. Curling into a fetal position to close the hole in my chest where my heart once was. Tears stream silently down my face.. I can't let anyone see my pain. Slowly the merciful darkness of sleep pulls me under, and once more I'm in your arms. Soft light flickers across your face as I brush back silken strands of hair to gaze into the warm dark pools of your eyes. I capture your perfect lips in a kiss, savoring the sweetness of you on my tongue. Your fingertips trace fire across my soul and I shiver as you consume me. Your skin is like satin under my hands and mouth and I inhale as much of you as I can before daybreak. As the sun rises you whisper to me that you'll return with the moon, and the tears shatter my solace. Once again I am alone.. sobbing quietly into my pillow for you to come back. Lonely and broken I must rise again and face a new day bravely, counting down the hours until nightfall and the return of my dream love.