Insomnia Attacks!

So.. I don't know if I got too much caffeine today, or if it was the long nap I took earlier when I was feeling bad, but I'm having a major insomnia attack. I'm simply not sleepy. Normally I would be talking to my Beloved right now.. but she's still busy and unsure and I do not get to talk to her very much at all anymore. Throw on top of that the fact that she's spending a lot of time.. even more than usual.. with the one friend I'm incredibly jealous and worried about. -Sigh- I just have too much going on in my life. I have a job I'm waiting to find out if I got.. I had an interview on Wednesday and I thought I would find out on Friday if it was mine or not but.. no dice. She was still interviewing Friday. I think she liked me, but I'm not sure if someone with more experience showed up what would she do? The job is perfect too and far more than needing it I WANT it! The starting pay is $11 an hour.. with a possible increase after 30-90 days. Full health insurance and severely discounted vision and dental. It's an office clerk position and it's literally right around the corner from my house! 3 miles. That's it. I can ride a bike. I would have my own office.. It's just a supremely cool job. And I'm sooo scared I'm not going to get it. I don't want to go back to looking for a job! I'm afraid of so much lately. I'm afraid my Beloved is never going to love me again, that I've lost her forever. I'm afraid I won't get this job and get back to school. I'm afraid my family is going to go hungry because the damned economy is so bad that my dad won't be able to find a job either. Life sucks sometimes. Optimism is severely tested. I feel myself sinking into a depression and there are no handholds on the way down the tunnel. Can someone throw me a rope? J'adore Beloved! Cheers.