Hurt.....

She doesn't think about me much anymore. I just don't cross her mind. My heart has been ripped from my chest. It actually hurts to breathe. And what's worse.. I can't show it. I still have to be strong and pretend I'm ok for my family. I have to smile and act like my heart is still intact, still beating and healthy inside of me. But it's not. It's across the ocean in a far away place. And it hurts. I hope that she's not thinking of me because she's busy.. but I can't be sure that's what it is. Overcome with depression. At least tonight I can curl up in a ball and cry myself to sleep. Not that it's a new thing.. I do that quite often lately. But I wish I could stop. I wish I could win her heart back. I wish she'd realize we're Soulmates.. I'm so tired.. but I don't want to give up on her. It's my fault.. I'm pathetic.