Catch Up

So.. My beloved brought it to my attention that I haven't blogged in a while. I sat down at my computer a million times and signed onto the site, but I couldn't put my thoughts into words! It's somewhat frustrating. My mind is something like a hamster on a wheel these days.. running around and around. At the center of the wheel of course is Christmas!! I'm so excited!! Christmas is my favorite time of the year. I'm always so sad when it's over though. I'm also thinking a lot about work. I'm worried about Gigi.. and as horrible as this sounds what I will do about employment if something happens to her. And I also always have my Beloved on my mind as well. Now I'm a bit worried. She's so far away and there is someone else in her life that she feels close to. I'm not really scared that she'll stop loving me.. I'm just... Idk what I'm afraid of. I was already so jealous of this person and knowing how she feels just makes it worse. Idk what to do. She feels so guilty, and there's really no need for her to feel that way. She blames herself for so much and is afraid I'm unhappy with her... I wish I could help her understand that she is my happiness. I will never ever find someone who completes me the way she does. I adore my darling. I don't even know what else to talk about.. I just can't seem to organize my thoughts lately. I love you sweetheart!!! Cheers!