Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!

I am soooo frustrated!! That stupid job STILL hasn't made a hiring decision!! The lady who does the hiring (The Owner's Wife) hasn't come into the office at all this week!! That's just rude. Not only am I waiting to find out if I got the job, but 8 other people interviewed for it!! Not only that, but Carolyn told me that she really needs someone to help her in the office! I guess just because this woman has money she doesn't think about the consequences of her actions on other people. My next door neighbor, and recent employer, knows the guy and says that the wife is just really lazy. I'm so sick of waiting around. On the upside.. I've got half a manicure.. Lol. Momma's doing a manicure for me but she had to stop to go pick up my sister from school. Lol. She's totally freaking out, saying they look awful.. but they don't!! They look really good for this being the first time she's ever done them!! Plus, I don't go anywhere so who cares!! She wants me to get my nails done at the salon tomorrow when Staci does, but I refuse. I'm not spending that money needlessly. Staci is going to Prom, she has a reason for getting her nails done.. I don't. I'm not going to lie.. I would love to go get my nails professionally done.. I would love for us all to be able to get our nails done.. including momma! But.. I'm not going to spend that money. Especially when I need heart medications. When/if I get a job, then I'll think about getting them done professionally. Until then.. I'm happy with a home job. :) I miss my Beloved.

Mother's Day

We had a nice Mother's Day today. We started out working along the fence line again and we worked for about an hour and a half before Nana came home and cooked brunch. Then we came in and ate and I cleaned up the kitchen and we watched The Blindside. It was a very sweet, very touching movie and I loved it! Beloved, if you have not seen it yet you should watch it you would adore Sandra Bullock's southern accent in it! ;) Lol. After that I marinated the steaks for dinner and we watched some more tv. Then Jena came over and we got to play with her and eat a wonderful dinner of steak and vegetables! Then Sissy cleaned the kitchen tonight.. which secretly was my favorite part! Lol. Now everyone's in bed and I am headed there shortly. I love you my darling Beloved!

Insomnia Attacks!

So.. I don't know if I got too much caffeine today, or if it was the long nap I took earlier when I was feeling bad, but I'm having a major insomnia attack. I'm simply not sleepy. Normally I would be talking to my Beloved right now.. but she's still busy and unsure and I do not get to talk to her very much at all anymore. Throw on top of that the fact that she's spending a lot of time.. even more than usual.. with the one friend I'm incredibly jealous and worried about. -Sigh- I just have too much going on in my life. I have a job I'm waiting to find out if I got.. I had an interview on Wednesday and I thought I would find out on Friday if it was mine or not but.. no dice. She was still interviewing Friday. I think she liked me, but I'm not sure if someone with more experience showed up what would she do? The job is perfect too and far more than needing it I WANT it! The starting pay is $11 an hour.. with a possible increase after 30-90 days. Full health insurance and severely discounted vision and dental. It's an office clerk position and it's literally right around the corner from my house! 3 miles. That's it. I can ride a bike. I would have my own office.. It's just a supremely cool job. And I'm sooo scared I'm not going to get it. I don't want to go back to looking for a job! I'm afraid of so much lately. I'm afraid my Beloved is never going to love me again, that I've lost her forever. I'm afraid I won't get this job and get back to school. I'm afraid my family is going to go hungry because the damned economy is so bad that my dad won't be able to find a job either. Life sucks sometimes. Optimism is severely tested. I feel myself sinking into a depression and there are no handholds on the way down the tunnel. Can someone throw me a rope? J'adore Beloved! Cheers.

Me?? Breadwinner?? Eep! :(

So.. my dad got laid off yesterday. We kind of saw it coming, but we are still shocked it happened. The company he was working for is owned by my mom's ex brother in law, well, actually his father... As a matter of fact, he put off going to work for them because he didn't want to upset the aunt who had been married to the guy, but when she said it was ok, he went to work there because he was promised an opportunity to be promoted and advance. Well, since he wouldn't cheat the customers to get more money for the company, he was demoted from the position he worked so hard for, and treated like crap. Finally, they laid off my brother who was working with them as an apprentice, and we knew it would only be a matter of time before dad was laid off too. After the pestered him to death to get him to come work with them. My mom is so upset.. she's been crying and depressed since we found out yesterday, and my optimism has been put to the test. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed and praying very hard that he finds a new job soon, or if worse comes to worse that mom does, because right now I'm the only one in the family working. It wouldn't be so daunting if I got paid more than $7 an hour and my hours hadn't been cut back by at least 2 days the past few weeks. We can't survive long on only what I make. And my mom is afraid that if we can't pay our rent Nana will ask us to move, and we have no idea what we will do if that happens. We have to wait at least 3 weeks for dad to get unemployment also.. -Sigh- We'll be ok though... the Lord always takes care of us. He won't let us down this time. Who knows, maybe dad's next job will offer better opportunities. :)

Wow...

It's been soooo long since I've blogged!! Lol. I've not really got much to say. I've just been working and watching Jenabeth grow unbelievably fast!! She's 6 months old already!! I can't believe it. She weighs like, 15 pounds, is 25 inches long, and has her first tooth!! She's pulling herself up on tables and stuff too! I want her to stay a baby forever!! :( Lol. Mimi and Pappy got her a walker for Easter, but it didn't sit low enough to the ground for her to reach, so they have to take it back and get a different one. I wonder if she will find running over toes as amusing as her daddy did?? Lol. She loves her Aunt Mandy though. It's great. At work, Gigi gets stronger everyday. She walks around by herself all day and she's working in the kitchen as I write this. I ask if she needs help, and she never lets me do anything! Lol. She's trying to prove she can do things on her own so she can go home. I'm actually kind of starting to worry about my job. Lol. A friend of mine asked me if I wanted a job taking care of a 96 year old gentleman he knows. I don't know the rate of pay or anything.. All I know is that he lives in New Jersey in a beach house... I'm not sure I could move to Jersey away from my family, but if the money is good enough, I might have to consider it. Especially if my job here ends. Even if it doesn't, depending on the benefits, I might have to take the job there and mom could take over here with Gigi.. depending on if it would help the family. I wouldn't just take the job for nothing. I don't really want to be so far away from them. Anyway.. ugh! I get so tired of soap operas!! Lol. They all have the same plot. Let me summarize for you. There's a crazy person who is tormenting the townsfolk... at least one person in town has cancer and needs a bone marrow transplant, a donor for which is apparently impossible to find, and the beautiful young woman married to the elderly wealthy man is worried about the ex wife who's suddenly come into the picture again. Throw in a couple of amnesias, a long lost relative or two, and that's as deep as it goes. It's sickening. What's worse, I'm starting to get dragged into the damned things!! I'm even starting to recognize people in them. Ugh! Lol. J'adore my darling!

Patience...

I got to talk to my beloved for a bit today. :) I miss her so terribly when we have long absences from one another. Actually... I miss her always. Right now watching my sister and her beau is making me incredibly sad. I want to hold her and gaze into her eyes so much.. -Sigh- I am trying very hard to win her back. I'll do it. I just have to be patient and remind her that she can't live without me. :) J'adore ma cherie fiancee!! Cheers!

Boo Bronchitis!

I hate being sick. I mean, absolutely detest it. I have been sick for almost a week now and I just want to breathe normally again. I have missed two days of work and I was sent home early on Friday. It sucks. But, I'm starting to feel a bit better.. I still get exhausted very easily, but I'm not constantly sleeping, and I'm going back to work tomorrow. It's not gonna be easy.. I'm gonna be eating cough drops like candy I think and puffing my inhaler as much as I can. But, I'll get through. I kinda miss Gigi. I also miss my Beloved. -Sigh- Hopefully we'll get to talk again soon since I'm able to stay awake for more than 2 minutes at a time. Lol. I will probably blog again tomorrow as I will be doing whatever it takes in my quest to stay awake. So, until tomorrow... Cheers!